Where Am I Living Again?

No, I do not have amnesia. I have just been exposed to my third dirty and contagious ailment in the past month and am beginning to think that I am no longer living and working in a 1st world country.

It started out with worms... and not the "save the worms!" kind my Mom likes to rescue off of sidewalks after a rainstorm and return to people's flower beds. No, I'm talking intestinal worms. Like the kind our dog had when we rescued her from living on the street. Here's how this conversation went:

Megan (my boss): "Caitlin, would you make sure that Freya and William wash their hands whenever they come in from outside? We just discovered that Freya has worms."

Me: "Ummm... worms??"

Megan: "Yes, she has a rash and an itchy bottom so we have her on worm medication."

She then sees the look of shock and disgust on my face.

Megan: "It's no big deal--children get them all the time here. She probably picked them up from someone at playgroup. We just have to make sure she washes her hands so that she doesn't give it to William."

Me: frantically thinking of all the times when 3 year old Freya has touched my hands/handed me a toy/touched my face and how I didn't immediately wash my hands afterwards. Also beginning to wonder if my bottom is itchy, too...

No, I don't have worms. Thank goodness.

Next, we have the voice mail I received about 2 weeks later:

"Hi Caitlin, it's Megan calling. It seems that Freya has come down with a bad case of the chicken pox... spots everywhere and she's very itchy. She won't be allowed in to playgroup, so can you come early for the next week or so?"

Now I have had chickenpox before, but I have also known people who have had it twice. One friend had chickenpox as a child and when she was exposed to it as an adult she came down with shingles! Thank goodness my childhood chickenpox experience was severe enough--I didn't catch anything.

And now for the most recent exposure. I had just spent 9 hours with the kids while the parents were at a conference. We ran around at the park until they were so tired they couldn't walk in a straight line; then we came home and snuggled up with lots of books to read. Lots of close snuggling. Which is why my skin started to crawl when I got this voicemail:

"Hi Caitlin, it's Megan calling... I've just discovered that Freya has nits (British word for headlice)... her head is just infested with them... William doesn't seem to have them and I'm about to check my head but I wanted to let you know so that you can check your hair as well."

You have GOT to be kidding me!! Nits?!?

It was 9:00 pm and all of the drug stores were closed, so I had to wait until morning to run out and by a lice comb. Will and I both itched and scratched our heads all night long (just the thought of the lice made me want to cut my hair off!) and the next day picked and combed through each other's hair like a pair of chimpanzees until we were convinced that we were not infested. Now that, folks, is true love. It was definitely not the kind of moment you day dream about when engaged...

Oh I just can't wait to share my life with this person, but most of all I am especially excited for the day when we get to check each other for head lice. That will be so dreamy!

So, England, as lovely as you have been in so many other ways... I am officially grossed out. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to comb through my hair again with the lice comb. Just to be safe.